Motivation > Ability

It took me forever to get to finally writing this post, mostly because it makes me feel like a wimp. I met with my trainer again for the 2nd time yesterday and it started off really well, but halfway through I started to feel sick. So we stopped and actually talked about a lot of things that helped me put some things into perspective.

We started out talking about food. After I told her a regular day she things that I am probably not getting enough to eat... interesting. Most of the time when you are trying to lose weight you think cut back on your food. But when working out you have to be able to have something to burn off in a healthy way. Ok makes sense.

She also could tell I was a little down on myself for not being able to finish the workout and I really was. I just want to get this right so bad this time and get into the shape I want. She told me not to feel bad at all. She knows I'm doing the biggest loser once and week and she said I know what you do in there and I know what we do here. You are getting two really intense workouts in a week. Which also made me stop and think. I guess I don't really think of them as 'intense' and I think this comes from being overly motivated, which isn't necessarily a bad thing I suppose but I find it kind of is in this case. I read so much and you see all these different things people are doing and I feel like I should be able to do them too, but I'm just not there yet, which gets me down a little bit. I may not have done as much as I could have been doing but January was just my goal to get started and I'll work harder in February. After all I really have worked out more this month than I did the whole last year.

We also talked about how I'm doing in the competition. Unfortunately I haven't lost any weight since we started but I haven't gained either. She said for most people it goes one of two ways you either start out losing the weight, or you start to lose inches and then the weight starts to come off. I can't tell if it's just in my head or if I actually am losing a bit of circumference around the middle.

She also reassured me that I have plenty of time to get ready for the Warrior Dash, and also snuck in there that it would kick my butt if I had to do it tomorrow.... gulp.

In conclusion. I'm still trying to figure out the whole food part, which actually is turning out to be the hardest part. What to eat/when to eat it etc etc. very hard to figure out. I'm considering meeting with a dietician/nutritionist to get me all food smart. I also need to come to terms with the fact that I am way more out of shape than I originally thought. I'm getting there though, very slowly, but getting there. She told me to not be so hard on myself coming from the couch to doing what I'm doing isn't easy. She said she can tell my motivation is there and that I have the right goals and that I'll get there. I still feel like a wimp.