Warrior Dash 2012

The Warrior Dash is not for the faint of heart. First let me give you the brief backstory. I signed up for the Warrior Dash back in December, it was always in the back of my mind and I had good intentions. Time spent training for the Dash? I was on it good for the first few months of the year then nada. Dumb, sure, shoulda/coulda etc etc. Final time was 1:18:06.50 as BWurm put it, I left room for improvement.. um clearly, thanks captain obvious. Since I know how to play the blame game, it's always someone else's fault, I would like to place blame of todays time on the heat... that is all. But I wasn't last, and that's always the default goal.

First timer observations:
* $20 for parking is slightly redic
* People in way less shape then me- check. Makes a girl feel good
* People wearing way less than I wanted to see their body type in? check
* The website lied. Obstacles listed on website not accurate nor does it fully prepare you for them. Seriously, the firepole was not listed.
* Runners are the nicest people. Everyone was friendly and offered to help at obstacles. Much appreciated.
* The barbwire is in fact real.
* Don't keep eyes open and smile at the fact that you are going down a hill on a slipn'slide.
* The mud pool at bottom of said slip n' slide is in fact deeper than thought, you will be submerged.
* It is possible for your eyeballs to be saturated with mud water, you will have blurred vision.
* Knee pads would be a nice suggested item to bring, that or at least throw sand or something soft so I'm not crawling through a dried up field. Knees are all scraped up.
* I was unprepared for the high vegetation I would be "running" through (when I say run, I mean walk)
* Wear appropriate footwear... for real (see accompanying story below)
* Do make your dad an awesome shirt, he likes the compliments (although he did say "this was fun, but one and done")
* When you fall on your butt (or face) people will in fact ask if you are ok before they laugh. Runners are nice.
*If you stay at the back and walk, you will make friends with fellow "slow runners" (when I say slow runners I mean people who walk)
* If you are a slow runner (walker) you will most likely get passed by the next heat behind you. Oh well.
* Why "run fast" (walk at normal pace) when there is a line to get though the obstacles. Clearly not a race made for speed where there is a line.
* You will get mud in places there should not be mud
* I think I took the longest shower I have ever taken in my life and still found mud when I was done. May need to shower multiple times.
* The sun knows when you miss a spot with sunblock
* A sign posted on the course "Make up for the other 364 days" will make you hang your head in agreement.
* Mud on my face makes my eyes stand out like bam! Creepy ice blue eyes basically.

So the story of my first warrior dash goes something like this...

I don't remember the order of the obstacles just know there were several and the website was not entirely accurate. Here are the stand out obstacles for me. The first being the slip n' slide down a hill. Seems innocent enough right? WRONG! I scoot down thinking this isn't too fast and assuming I'll be able to just scoot off the slope into the mud puddle at the bottom and wade through some mud and go on my way. EEEEEENNT! Wrong! The slope steepens and the water was deeper than anticipated. Mouth was open I was not prepared and I fully submerged, gross. I had mud water on my eyeballs. The next obstacle I believe is called "Storming Normandy" where you must crawl under barbed wire. way too long. Yikes, tore up my knees decently. Every obstacle seemed to be just far enough away or the foot holdings just a little too small or the fire pole just a little too tall, but I conquered them all, one by one.

The shoe story. I knew not to wear nice shoes because they would be drenched in mud. I also knew they have a place where you can toss your shoes at the end of the race to be donated and used for something else. I knew the perfect pair to wear... or so I thought. My Blue Nike Air Max shoes have been with me for awhile... like since sixth grade awhile. I paid $180 for them, it was a big deal, Gma paid for half as a bday present. My first expensive pair of shoes, but I loved them so much. They shit and died on me before the race even began. By the time the race had ended the entire sole of both shoes were off, they died a noble death and shall be missed.

I fell a few times, poor dad fell a few times. I fell through a cargo net and have a lovely bruise/scrape, A.Drama got a fire pole burn. If you come out injury or without a "bite" from the big WD, then I feel you were doing it wrong, or maybe I was doing it wrong, who knows. The one thing I do know, if your going to fall... don't fall where there are people and cameras. If it's not on film it didn't happen, however dad was not so lucky, his spill was caught as he neared the finish line. The announcer called it to every ones attention and complimented him on his graceful faceplant.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves, however a few things to note. Take note of the distinct technique differences in the fire jumping (leave your vote for favorite, the ninja, the rockstar or the leaping gazelle) Also note the picture of our poor father biting it, tuck that away for future inheritance decisions, note the daughter that is assisting and note the daughter laughing. Everyone loved dad's shirts and he got lots of compliments, I think he liked the attention. Note how creepy blue my eyes appear with mud on da face. And a brief history of mine and BWurms shirts. He and I both have motorcycles and talk about how badass we are and how we should have a biker gang (watch too much Sons of Anarchy, probably) so we call ourselves the Rural Renegades we don't murder or run guns, think more 'Wild Hogs' than Hells Angels... but don't lie we look BA in our shirts.

Without further adieu I give you the photo story of the 2012 Warrior Dash, a North of 10th followers exclusive...

... until next year! Props to the other blog world warriors!